Do you have an aggressive person in your life?
The aggressive raises the volume of his voice in order to take control of the task at hand. The volume increases as the conflict escalates. He often sees victory defined by the axiom, “The loudest voice wins.”
In order to take control of the person involved in the conflict, the aggressive often uses insults which are designed to garner a reaction from the recipient. When one responds with the intended response, he yields emotional control to the aggressive.
To accomplish his end goal, the aggressive steam rolls over any competition, including innocent bystanders. This works for him because most people allow it to occur.
The aggressive will not be robbed of control or his will. He will leverage his difficult behavior to maintain control of not only accomplishing his desired task, but also the people in his way.
James offered profound wisdom to deal with difficult people, including the aggressive: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).
In order to lead the aggressive, we must listen to his heart — his will, mind, emotions, and spirit. The chambers of the heart can be discovered by learning his choices, thoughts, feelings, and even his prayers. Connect with his heart like a Lego (Proverbs 20:5). Deflect his difficult behavior like a shield (Proverbs 17:9). Reflect his heart like a mirror (Proverbs 27:19). Direct him toward wisdom like a highway sign (Proverbs 24:11-12).
In an example from the Bible, Jonathan used wisdom’s tools to lead his aggressive father King Saul through listening (1 Samuel 20:24-34). Saul had exploded with his son Jonathan who modeled most of what we see in Proverbs for wisely leading an aggressive through listening: (1) answer gently (Proverbs 15:1), (2) ignore insults (Proverbs 12:16), (3) confront lovingly (Proverbs 25:12; 15:31), and (4) offer choices, all of which are wise alternatives acceptable to you (Proverbs 8:10; 16:16).