Do you ever feel hopeless in your attempts to deal with the strong will of an aggressive person? Solomon offered a secret to leading the aggressive through listening.
In order to direct the aggressive toward wisdom, we must offer choices to the aggressive so that he is not robbed of his will: “Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold” (Proverbs 8:10). The strong will of an aggressive always needs to make a choice. In order to effectively be used by God, we can offer wise alternatives. Solomon taught: “How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver!” (Proverbs 16:16).
It is imperative that these choices are wise alternatives that are acceptable to us. This allows the aggressive to always choose while we remain in agreement with his choice. When we don’t listen to the aggressive, we rob him of choosing wisdom. “Would you like to call Bill or go see him to reconcile?” is an example of giving a choice from acceptable alternatives.
Whereas Jonathan’s questions were open-ended, he allowed his father King Saul the opportunity to choose wisdom. In Jonathan’s scenario, his father was still aggressive when Jonathan left him to choose (1 Samuel 20:32-34). Sometimes, that will be the case. When the aggressive remains heated and out of control, it might be necessary for us to leave the scene after engaging wisely.
The next time you are faced with an aggressive, after answering gently, ignoring his insults, and confronting him lovingly, offer wise choices, all of which are acceptable to you. This will help direct the aggressive toward wisdom.