We were designed to be satisfied through an intimate relationship with Christ. He is the satisfying focal point of our desires. As with a magnifying glass, the focal point of our eyes is magnified, and all that surrounds it is fuzzy. When temptation of the eyes comes, we stand at a 180-degree pivot-point to either focus on Christ or the temptation. If we focus our eyes on Christ, then the temptation becomes fuzzy. If we focus on the tempting images, then Christ becomes fuzzy.
Here is an acronym rooted in Scripture to help you FOCUS.
Fix your eyes on Christ (see Hebrews 12:2). This means an intent gaze of your heart and eyes on Him. As a result, He will be magnified in your life.
Open the eyes of your heart by asking Christ to experience His riches, hope, and incomparable power for your life (see Ephesians 1:18-19). His Spirit in you is the power that fulfills your every desire (see Ephesians 1:20-23).
Covenant with your eyes not to lust after a girl who is someone else’s wife or daughter (see Job 31:1). Job made a commitment to keep Christ as the focal point of his eyes. Too often as men, we say, “I can’t control this desire. I have to look.”
Women frequently yield to their desire to be pursued and to nurture the man who pursues her. As a woman, covenant with your eyes not to captivate a man who is not your husband. When it comes to clothing, ask, “Is it too tight, too short, or too revealing?” Young girls, determine by whom, when, where, why, and how you want to be pursued before an emotional connection exists, so that you will not fall prey to nurturing a pursuer who is unsuited for you.
Understand you will be tempted, and God will always provide a doorway out. “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). This is the 180-degree pivot-point of the focus of your eyes. You will yield to either Christ in you or the temptation. Dads, guide your daughters to dress modestly limiting their contribution to the temptation factor of other men.
Shift your eyes back to Christ, not the temptation of the sin (when caught turning your eyes 180 degrees from Christ). Make this practical first by memorizing Scripture that can be recalled when tempted. That’s what Jesus did (see Matthew 4:1-11). Second, recruit a friend with whom you can share your temptations. This transparent confession can free you from acting on the sin and keep you accountable to another. Third, surround yourself with photographs of your spouse and children. Some have suggested a man should keep in clear view a photograph of his wife as a little girl to enhance seeing her as her dad did, vulnerable and in need of protection. Fourth, men look another woman in the eyes, seeing her at the soul level, rather than gaze at her body. Women, don’t captivate with your eyes or body a man who is not your husband. Ask your husband if your clothing is modest.
FOCUS your eyes where God intended, on Christ and your spouse.