Dating, marriage, and sex challenge our deepest vulnerabilities. However, God desires that we experience intimacy, fulfillment, and wisdom in His design for our lives. Everyone wants to know and be fully known. That’s intimacy, the connection of our innermost being with another. Nestled in his teaching about how we are called to steward our spiritual gifts, Paul revealed the ultimate intimate experience in the Bible’s love chapter: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Not I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). Only God can satisfy our longing for intimacy, so we cannot place that burden on another person. Paul taught that believers not only know God, but are also known by Him (see Galatians 4:9). In essence, our heart needs to be so wrapped up in God that our partner, or suitor, needs to wholeheartedly pursue Him in order to find it.
We must first seek Christ in order to experience enduring love we can transfer in marriage. True love in a marital relationship resembles a pyramid with God at the top. As a husband and wife each grows closer to Him, they grow closer to each other. That is God’s Plan A. If we pursue a Plan B, we will never fully experience His design for our lives, which includes a vibrant, intimate, and faithful sexual relationship in the context of marriage (see 1 Corinthians 7:4; Hebrews 13:4).
Focus on God’s Plan A: Pursue your relationship with Him, while you pursue your spouse. Read 1 Corinthians 13 every day aloud as husband and wife for the next week. Memorize one of those verses that speaks to both of you in a special way. Commit to apply Paul’s teachings to your life together.