When dealing with a difficult person, do you struggle to reflect that person’s heart in a way that communicates you understand his or her desires? Unfortunately, most of us rarely stay engaged long enough to get that far and see that deeply.
Because so few people connect with a difficult person’s heart and even fewer deflect the difficult behavior, rarely does anyone reflect the difficult person’s will, intellect, spirit, and emotions. Reflecting is paramount to the difficult person’s behavior being revealed to him in a non-threatening way through questions and images.
Solomon taught: “As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man” (Proverbs 27:19).
When you are engaging with a difficult behavior, connect with the person’s heart, deflect his flaming arrows, and reflect your journey to understanding his desires that you gain from listening. Do this in the form of a question so that you are not presuming that you know his desires completely and accurately. Possibly use relevant images that will engage the person’s heart in an unthreatening fashion. Continue to learn and lead through listening.
When you humbly and wisely reflect the difficult person’s heart through listening, it won’t be you leading; rather, it will be Christ in you.